Bain & Chiad
Feb 15, 2022
Exploring the Best Snacks From Season 1 of the Wheel of Time
This article contains spoilers through Episode 7 of The Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime, and a minor snack-related spoiler for Winter's Heart.
Snacks are eating up a lot of attention in the Wheel of Time Fandom. Season 1 of the Amazon Prime series saw Child Valda (Abdul Salis) indulging in a number of questionable snacks, Perrin (Marcus Rutherford) complaining about the Tuatha’an vegan diet, and Moiraine (Rosamund Pike) craving buffalo wings.
When Liandrin (Kate Fleetwood) uttered, “The persimmons are in season,” WoT conspiracy theorists speculated about the quirky orange fruit and what exactly our new favorite Red Sister really meant. (Recently, Fleetwood chalked it up to social awkwardness).
But it was Alanna (Priyanka Bose) who ascended to our Queen of Snacks, carving persimmon slices on Moiraine's bed, and, in a genius utilization of the Warder bond, snatching a piece of fruit proffered by Maksim (Taylor Napier) without a second glance.
As if we didn’t have enough reasons to hate ourselves for loving show-Alanna. Beautiful and charismatic, not only does she enjoy snacks, she is a snack. If Madeleine Madden says so, you know it's true.
But what about all the other snacks in Season 1 of the Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime? The forgotten ones, the not-so-tasty ones, the less sexy and less meme-able ones? For this week's Maidens’ List, we sifted through all 8 episodes to rank the Top 10 Season 1 Snacks of Time.
10. Valda’s Bird Snack
In “TV trends you didn’t ask for,” WoT has joined “Billions” and “Succession” as the latest to convey gluttony and cruelty via the consumption an entire bird. It's not very appetizing, but it's effective. This snack screams that chopping off an Aes Sedai's hands and burning her at the stake is not enough for Valda. In less than 30 seconds, we learn that not only is he only cruel, he’s twisted. His impeccable table manners don’t make it any better.
Rating: 1/10
9. Moiraine’s Hot Water
Does a beverage count as a snack? If it does, this sad, weak tea isn’t doing Moiraine any favors. But she looks more gorgeous than ever, rejuvenated by her return to The White Tower and glowing with anticipation for some long overdue fishing-shack sex. The insufficient steeping time offended some tea lovers in the fandom, but Moiraine chose this café for the view, not the snacks.
Rating: 2.5/10
8. Dana’s “Community Stew”
This soup was destined for glory even before it was nicknamed by Everyday Negroes. Full of half-finished meals, old beer, and a pig’s foot, you can just feel the love that went into that dirty pot. What it lacks in flavor, it makes up for in Dana.
Rating: 4/10
7. Daise Congar’s Ale
The only thing better than a pint of Two Rivers’ ale at the Winespring Inn is multiple pints, and you can bet Mat Cauthon’s last coin this isn’t Daise’s first pint of the night. Say what you will about Coplins and Congars, Daise seems like the best drinking buddy in town. If beer is a liquid loaf of bread, Daise Congar is the butter.
Rating: 5/10
6. Nynaeve’s Cold Chicken
Warm food is overrated, and cold chicken is a pretty solid snack for traveling through the middle of nowhere. It's certainly good enough to decline an invitation to the Red Tent. Liandrin's just jealous because she never gets invited to Wing Night.
Rating: 6.5/10
5. Rand’s Street Snack
There’s something really sweet about the Dragon Reborn stopping for a snack while saving the world. And how can you not fall in love with Rand’s face, smiling as he chews, filled with the joy and wonder of visiting his first real city? We’re not really sure what exactly was inside this hot pocket, but it looked really tasty. And if you're a nerd for details, you could consider it a nod to the meat pie Rand buys in Far Madding (WH Ch. 33).
Rating: 7/10
4. Lan’s Family-Style Snack
This steaming hot pot full of noodles and broth looks and—according to Nynaeve—smells delicious. Sometimes it’s less about the food and more about the company you keep, and we can’t think of anything more comforting than a home-cooked bowl of noodles, shared among loved ones. And it's always a bonus when your family approves of your girlfriend.
Rating: 7.5/10
3. Tam’s Two Rivers Breakfast
It’s hard to tell what exactly is on Egwene’s tray, but if it’s coming from Marin al’Vere’s kitchen, it has to be good. The plate looks more like a charcuterie board, with big hunks of cheese, maybe some fruit and—is that bacon? Of all the snacks on this list, it’s the one we would most like to try, but it loses a few points for being so substantial it can no longer be considered a snack. And where are the honeycakes?
Rating: 8/10
2. Pegwene’s Turnip Curry
Perrin and Egwene’s wolf-driven trek through the cold and unforgiving winds of the Caralain Grass stands out as one of the most viscerally bleak sequences of the Season. It's extra satisfying, then, to watch the famished travelers shove aside their misgivings about the Tuatha’an and chow down on this warm and hearty curry. Using bread to scoop up your food is top-tier snacking, and it’s the most excited we see anyone get about a snack in the whole series.
Rating: 9/10
1. Alanna’s Fruit Slices
This snack leaves a lasting impression mostly because of the one who is snacking. You have to admire Alanna's Aes Sedai prowess here, as she gently needles Moiraine for information while nonchalantly slicing and savoring her fruit. Leave it to Priyanka Bose to make talking with your mouth full look adorable. It's disarmingly cute, but you can't ignore the hint of danger implied by eating straight from the knife (a technique also employed by Valda when eating his roast piglet in front of Egwene). Still, you could almost believe Alanna doesn’t have an agenda, and this is just two besties having a pajama party.
Rating: 10/10
And we’ve come back full circle to Alanna, our inspiration for this list. What were your favorite Snacks of Time from Season 1? Do you dispute our rankings? We don't care, as long as you swear fealty to the Snack Queen.
Bain & Chiad is a regular contributor to thegreatblight.com. Check out her weekly opinion columns each week.